Prisoner

I

Want

To

Cry.

And

Die.

Mahjong session

I'm back here again.
Bored mannnnnnnnnnn.

At elton's house right now. The rest are playing mahjong. I'm so bored 'cause I don't even know how to play. And not that interested either.
Just finished watching THE ISLAND. Not bad. But yeah. I wanna watch jap shows. I didn't even get to watch my anime last night.
Ha. Last night. I wasn't pissed okay. But the fact that people think I'm pissed or making a big fuss outta my name is starting to irritate me.
When I started running last night, I told my bro about my leg. And he told me to go home straight away. Then he said I had to stop exercising for at least 3 months. So I went to see the Chinese sensei today and it was fine. Nothing serious. Praise the Lord. I don't have to stop training! I can't train today though, with my leg wrapped. Yeah, so my leg issue pulled my mood down. And I got so much crap from my sec school friends. I wasn't in the mood to joke around can. And they just had to gl me at that hour.
Maybe it's also 'cause of PMS.
Or maybe I'm just plain gl myself.

Whatever. I don't care.

Hi

HEH. I FINISHED YET ANOTHER DRAMA. I FEEL BAD. TONIGHT, I PROMISE, I'LL WATCH FMA!!!!

I WANT TO DRINK KOI REAL BAD. SOMEONE BUY FOR ME LEHHHHHH.

Yesterday's PT was tough. Idk why I couldn't breathe properly. Super short of breath. Like asthma or something. And hai. Embarrassing as usual. But the moment I decided to join judo.. Was the moment I chose to throw away my face. Of course there's no good side of me when I'm training. I'm so lousy at sports. Joining this kinda thing only leads to embarrassment. I really hope one day I get better and think it was all worth it.

I think the drama I just watched is really getting to me. Talking about dreams and getting better and blah blah. The show was quite cute although it was super exaggerated. Like who confesses his love in the middle of a Shogi match? I mean not to his opponent but yeah. Then towards the last few episodes, he asked his opponent for his daughter's hand in marriage. Lol. She was right beside some more. AIYA SO SWEET.

Okay whatever. Enough crapping. Gotta continue keeping laundry. Byeee!

I AM REALLY GETTING FATTER. I HAVE LAYERS. MANY MANY. EEEEEEEEEE. GROSS SHIT. WHY AM I NOT LOSING WEIGHT WHEN I GO FOR PT, JUDO AND RUN WITH BRO!!!!
So frustrating. I thought I would never diet and give up my favourite food just to lose weight. But now, I don't know anymore. I can't stand the sight of my flabby arms. I hate my layers of fats. Argh.
I just freaking fell asleep for 3 seconds. I'm sitting alone on some bench in city square mall. And I dozed off. Nice. Eyes still closing as I type all these. I wanna sleep ):

Okay I think time to call my mom and irritate her again, hurry them to come.

Fat

Hi.
I didn't go for training today. Even though my body isn't aching from PT yesterday. I'm hating myself right now. Daddy's birthday today. My parents are happy I'm not training?

Oh well. How to go for training without a partner.

Argh. I can't even get whatever's bugging me off my chest when I blog. Starting to miss my diary.....
Maybe I should start a private twitter or blog.

Ciao.

Waiting...

I started and finished a drama series yesterday. Awesome show. But it caused me to sleep at 3 plus. And I woke up at 6. Because of PT. KILL ME PLEASE. I have no energy. And I suck so much during PT. So I'm gonna suck more today. If that's even possible.
Sitting at the bus stop outside school now. Waiting for the 3 ladies. Gonna be late but I doubt there's punishment today? Seeing that one of them is the vice captain and she's leading PT today. Haha.

So tired and bored till I blogged.
Okay, bye. Back to stoning.

screwed up

Idk why my blogskin was screwed up.

So I spent a helluva time changing it.

I was so noob kay. The files weren't in html at first.

I decided not to link anyone.

A bit too ma fan. So sorry.

GOOOOOODNIGHT!

Blogging made easier

COOL. SEEMS LIKE I'M ACTUALLY KEEPING THE BLOG ALIVE. OH WAIT. RESURRECTING MORE LIKE IT.

I guess it's because these few days or maybe the past 2 weeks I have been feeling pretty idk, depressed? It's not like me to be this way. I have never let myself ........ Lose control?
This is getting real annoying, to be honest. I want to stop thinking about it already. I'm getting pissed at myself. Hate it. Maybe I'm a control freak. Need to have control over situations or else I'll go berserk.
I don't even know if what I'm saying is making sense. But I shall not care. Afterall, who's reading?

Still, I feel like making this blog private. Then maybe I can really vent.

Okay. Done with this post.
My noisy stomach is getting on my nerves too. Haha.

impulse to blog

okay, shane.
you're the only one still reading my blog la.
siao. haha.

hmm.. i guess i came back to this abandoned blog because i'm getting quite bored of using the laptop. there's nothing to do online. facebook is boring. twitter is fun but i can tweet on my phone and stuff. so there's really nothing much left to do when i switch on the comp.

went to WASEDA SHIBUYA HIGH SCHOOL on sunday. i feel damn bad for not going to church okay. but this event is like once a year (i think) and i get cca points :/
it was DAMN FUN. and SERIOUSLY CROWDED. PLUS THERE WERE AUTHENTIC JAP HOTTIES. heh. there were a few only la. HAHA.

ever since physical training for judo started, i feel like dying everyday. my legs are killing me. I HAD TO PRETEND TO WALK NORMALLY AT WASEDA 'CAUSE I'LL LOOK INSANE WALKING LIKE AN OLD HAG. very hard. i want to shout everytime i take a step up or down. HAHA. NOT EXAGGERATION OK. now this is what a blog is useful for: complaining.


it sucks. to not talk anymore. but well, imma boring person. and it's pretty normal to end up not talking. i thought this time it was different though, guess i was wrong.

OH YA. SOMEONE IS LIKE GETTING ON MY NERVES. I CANNOT STAND PEOPLE WHO DON'T TAKE STUFF SERIOUSLY. AS IN ONCE YOU MADE UP YOUR MIND, SEE IT THROUGH LA. WHY SO ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE BUT THIS?

aiyo. the way i blog now is so sloppy. but i can't be bothered now leh. maybe my next post (which is when?) will be less sloppy.

AH. FEELS GOOD TO VENT. AFTER SO LONG. I'M LAZY TO START WRITING MY DIARY AGAIN. SO BLOG LORH. ANYWAY NO ONE READS IT, HEH. EXCEPT MAYBE, MAYBE ONLY, SHANE.

OK BYE.